“What was once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us.” —Helen Keller These days I find myself adjusting to a another new normal. With the Coronavirus ever-present, imagining a Covid-free society feels like fleeting hope. The debilitating effects of this pandemic remain mind-boggling. […]
Read More Still My Mother’s DaughterMom has a new love. Her name is Emily. Emily came to live with Mom after her 10-year old great-granddaughter visited. Although Mom does not remember her great-grand or how she adored her, mom was thrilled to see her. But, what made the visit extraordinary was the gift that her great-grand brought. The GGD […]
Read More Thankful for EmilyI often wonder if this is the year that I will lose my Mom. With her delusions ever-present, I feel helpless, sad, and lost. I admit that, at times, I dread going to visit her. My sweet mother, my best friend, is no longer there. Mom has been replaced by a gentle-souled woman whose features […]
Read More Waving The White FlagMost Alzheimer’s patients long for home. In the early stages of Mom’s Alzheimer’s, she said, “I want to go home.” Looking back, I believed her. But, for me, the hardest part was not what Mom was asking, it was the fact that she had no home to go back to. The last home that […]
Read More Savoring the Feeling of Home, For NowThe wee hours of the morning lend clarity to my tangled mind. The darkness offers a quiet refuge. I watch my mother struggle with Alzheimer’s, and it engages perspective. Namely, I ponder the role I play in aiding her. The “where I’m going” view remains unknown for each of us. I can only hope […]
Read More Examining the puzzle pieces of lifeMy reality, at least for now, consists of delusions, time warps, and an occasional white lie. As I support and care for my Mom through her Alzheimer’s journey, her reality becomes my reality. Among the many blogs, scholarly articles, and books that I’ve read on the subject of dementia, most all agree […]
Read More Living In My Mother’s RealityI do my mother’s laundry while she sits and watches. We talk, but these days our talks are more of a Q and A session. It’s hard holding a conversation with an Alzheimer’s patient, but I try. When we’re together, we sit close, watch others, and smile. However, there is one thing we enjoy: […]
Read More Having Coffee With My Best FriendIt doesn’t seem that long ago, although, it was, that I said I don’t know how I would handle it if my mother no longer recognized me. I also recall saying how devasting Alzheimer’s is because you lose your loved one twice: once when they no longer know you; and twice when […]
Read More Praising God for Grace and PeaceIt happens that quick. Reality. Fantasy. One mind; two worlds. Unfortunately, this becomes the day-to-day dilemma for those diagnosed with some form of dementia. In the beginning, there are no warning signs to prepare for the coming days; there are no roadmaps to redirect the confusion; and, there are no paved paths to suggest a smoother […]
Read More Meandering through the Dementia Twilight Zone
Dear God, I Am... 